First Born

Recently I was asked by my now 30 year old Son, Joshua, to share the story of his birth day.

And so here it is.

Oh if only I had known then what I know now!!

The following is a copy of the birth journey I wrote out shortly after he was born. 

So interesting to see what I thought was/had happened back then.

Original estimated due date was February 25

Wednesday March 2nd

Today I am Mom. 

Joshua's Mom

How strange it seems to all of a sudden have this baby, after so much preparation and waiting. 

Finally he's here and it's not at all anything I expected, yet everything and more. 

I know now that this is the best thing I have ever done - the only real thing I will ever accomplish - 

giving life to another human being - my own flesh and blood from my body and soul.

It's all so overwhelming it's hard to know what to feel (Full EMOTIONAL epidural!)

My beautiful baby boy forever, how can anyone not love this child, how could anyone not love the life they produce?

Recap of how Josh and I got from there to here:

I spent all of last week in prodromal labour off and on. Completely stressful and exhausting. 

I think too much anticipation was built up to his birth.

But how can that be avoided really!? Anyways it was enough stress to cause my psoriasis to act up

All over my stretch marks - Ouch!

Sunday I spent the day in some of the worst pain ever. It was quite odd because I had what felt like a pulled muscle, except intensified a million times on my left side, kidney area.

And I had contractions.  Really just tightenings of the uterus every 20 minutes, which made the pain almost unbearable. Along with this I could not keep down anything but liquids - water actually.

Throwing up as I did several times was not fun. My sister spent the evening with me, and I finally managed to keep down a bowl of her mashed potatoes and some gingerale. 

The pain finally seemed to abate to a dull ache, and the contractions died off. 

I awoke Monday feeling quite well - a little battle weary but much improved. I chalked it up to food poisoning and had a fairly active day: baked 2 pumpkin pies, made dinner, walked Sarah to school and picked her up, etc. I stayed up all evening with a friend and finally went to bed at around 10:30 pm. Tired, but fine. 

I awoke at 12:30 am with cramping, but it was not contracting. Also the baby was moving psychotically. It was enough that I got up and played Nintendo (Dr. Mario) for about an hour or so. Things seemed to settle down and I went back to bed. I was awoken at 4:30 am with that same horrible pain on the left side. I did not seem to be having the same type of contractions as before, not as intense but a little bit. And the pain was constant. Also, I at that time, threw up. Except there was nothing for me to throw up. So it was basically wrenching.

The day progressed this way. I threw up nothing about five times by 2pm. The pain never really abated and I felt worse and worse. Mom who was at the school called me every hour or so to check on my condition. The fact that this pain was in the kidney area really concerned her - no shock there.

Finally at 2pm she put her foot down and took me to St. Boniface hospital, just to have it looked at. I, as usual when it comes to things medical had been resisting, but was relieved she had insisted, as I was also beginning to worry something was "wrong".  The only thing I would have liked first was help with having a bath - I should have known!

Anyhow, I was admitted to labour assessment, My OB was on the floor, so she heard my story, checked me out, announced that I was 1 cm dilated and broke my waters, all in one breath practically. The OB said that the pains etc were just early labour and I guess felt the situation was ready for birthing, as I was 4 days past my estimated due date. It was quite a shock to have my waters broken like that, she didn't ask me, she just did it, and I don't think either Mom or I were prepared for that decision. I hadn't even brought my birth bag! 

Anyways, the floodgates having been let loose, things had nowhere to go but onward! So I started pacing the halls with  mom, water gushing everywhere all the time. My sister came at some point and walked with us, but they only allowed one support person, unless you get the birthing room, which is unlikely for first timers. So she went home, but left the electronic poker game for me to play with!

Another woman was put into my labour room, to share - Violet. the Nurse watched us both. I had contractions but very irregular, and certainly not strong enough. For whatever reason, the labour just did not want to get going with me. So at 8pm the OB checked me again, I was only about 2 cm after all that, so she put me on the drip - synthetic hormones. They also hooked me up to IV fluids since I was dehydrated when I arrived at the hospital. In fact I had begun to have ketones in my urine, which means my body was starting to expel necessary nutrients because it was so dehydrated. 

They started the drip at 8pm and that gave me regular and real contractions. At some point I sat up for the contractions, and I stayed up from then on as it seemed easier to me to get through them. However they were still pretty hideous, plus I was really tired. In fact it got to the point where I could barely stay conscious in between contractions, which is actually pretty funny considering there wasn't much of an in between. Anyways I went on like this for six hours. 

The nurse's shift ended and the new Nurse, Esther came on shift at about 11:30pm. She moved me over to my own room and spent the next few hours helping us get through. From the time that I was put on the drip the OB had left a standing order allowing me either Demerol or an epidural. Everyone involved offered these things to me and at some point they started to encourage me to take some help because they did not think that I was going to make it on my own. The Nurse kept telling me I needed to take something. It was a hard decision for me because I tend to be so self-sufficient. Also, I've always been a big advocator of 'natural childbirth'

Anyhow after 12 hours of this, and being 4 cm, I finally gave in and asked the Nurse what my options were and since she explained to me that Demerol was a blood agent, I opted for the epidural which works on the nervous system. I've always had problems with drugs that go into the blood so I didn't think it was worth the trouble. However I had no idea what was involved with an epidural! What a joke to have someone poking you in the spine and saying "don't move till I'm done!" Like it's so easy to stay relaxed and still during a contraction! Anyhow I got through it. And then the bliss. What a relief to have everything dulled. In fact I kind of woke up a bit with the pressure off and sat up and started to chit chat, which Mom thought was hilarious.  Then I tried to rest for a half hour or so.

I guess it was about 430 am or so when the Nurse told us it was time to push this baby out. Let me just say labour is nothing next to pushing! I don't know why everyone talks about the contractions when it's the pushing that is the most intense. Mom and the Nurse were starting to get worried because they felt I was doing a swell job with pushing yet not providing the appropriate results. 

It seemed to me they were saying they could see him for a long time. But he wasn't coming out the way he should. By the time they got me into the delivery room I was starting to fade. I just didn't think I could do it. My OB came and checked me out, and found that the little rascal had his head turned sideways. In fact she was surprised I had gotten him as far down the birth canal as I had.

Anyways, she had to push him back up and swing his head around. I think that truly was the most painful few minutes of my life. I had to tell myself I couldn't rip out her eyes because she was helping! 

At any rate soon after that, out he popped. Once his big head was out, it was a wonderful feeling to have everything else slide out.  I don't think I've ever been as dazed or happy as when they gave him to me to hold. That first meeting with your new child is such a wonder and miracle. Everything and anything is worth THAT!

So they cleaned him up, then me, and whisked us off to the recovery room. We stayed together there for a while, myself just in amazement over this small wonder, and poor Mom looking exhausted.

Eventually Mom left and Joshua was taken to the Nursery. Soon my sister came by to visit, but she mainly wanted to see Joshua who was still in the Nursery so she went and hounded the Nurses to bring him back to us! 

Joshua was born at 5:12 am, weighed 8lbs, 8 oz and was 21 1/2 inches long. His apgars were 9 and 9

Labour was 15 hours long from the time of waters being broken, and pushing time was 45 minutes of that.

While I would take a different approach to this birth now, I will always be grateful for the end result!

Being Mama to this amazing human has been the greatest gift. Observing him grow and develop into the wonderful human he is today warms my heart in a way that can not be put into words.