I should be napping

There are more babies coming.... I should be napping. It's hard to do during the day, especially with the anticipation of THE call. I lay down, and as my body relaxes, my brain wanders into all sorts of corners.

Today I have been providing text support to two labouring mamas, and eventually ended up in triage with one of them, it was too soon, so she and her hubby and her belly full of baby went home to try and get into a workable rhythm. I turned away from them to leave and there was the client who had her baby yesterday! I had provided phone support to her over the course of her labour on Friday, then one of my doula partners supported her during the actual delivery Saturday. How lucky to run into them on their way home. We chatted for a bit about their experience, hugged and off they went, as did I.

Once home, I got a batch of granola going, while cleaning up the kitchen and watching Damages on Netflix. I don't consider myself particularly domestic, but I always seem to do domesticy type things when "in labour wait". After a call from the husband, (always a good sign), during which we agreed she should have a bath and then they would call me again in an hour or so, I knew it was time to nap for real.

Laying here, thinking about all the babies born this week (four!) and the two on their way, it occurs to me, not for the first time, that this is my life. I am a doula. I know this, it's been this way for awhile now, and yet somehow it still stops me up every now and again when I think it. Five years ago I was not a doula and there was no way I could have led this lifestyle. I wanted it, but I wasn't even close to it. Now I am it.

While I was thinking about how weird it is is that I am a doula, it crosses my mind that it is even weirder that I still don't always feel the title. Then I started thinking about how I have been a mom for almost half my life (!) and I still don't always feel the mom title either.... Maybe I have a problem with labels? Titles? Hmmmm

Oh there is that text! The one I knew was coming. I should have been napping ;)